Life Will Go On
by Foxgurl
Summary: Rated for shônen-ai: Jin x Touya. Touya stands alone, rain mixing with tears of loneliness as thinks about Jin and how much he cares....


**-Life Will Go On-**

_By: Kitsune_  
  
Disclaimer: Me no own.  
  
Jin...  
  
It's been a while. Eight years to be precise. It hurts so much Jin. I sorely miss your bright red hair, your goofy smile, your untamed spirit. I don't know what is wrong with me. I mean, I thought I would forget about you by now. But it's just the opposite. I think about you non-stop. Morning, day, night, all the time. It's like I can't get you out of my head.  
  
Jin...  
  
Our shinobi set is in tatters. I have escaped the dark but it still lingers around me everyday reminding me constantly of my past. Gama is dead. He would not be mad at us Jin. If he were here now, he'd probably say we did our best, reaching far for our light. He was always a noble person Jin. Always willing to sacrifice for our team and never willing to give up. Reshio and Bakken, I'm afraid, will always be caught in the darkness. Their greed and want has cast them into the shadows forever, never to return again. But what has happened to you? What has happened to my windmaster?  
  
I know...  
  
I can hardly call you MY windmaster. You are a free spirit. No rope or man or demon can pull you down. But in my heart, I've always thought of you as mine. My partner, my friend, my... I can't feel the pain that sears though my hand as I clutch my travel bag tighter. No, you were no more than a friend to me. Even now, as I feel my heart freeze over with ice, I still want you, I still need you. It's like an addiction.  
  
I get scared...  
  
I mean, all this want builds up inside me and I wonder if I too will be cast into the shadows with greed. I hope not. I pray for the day I will see you smiling face, feel your lips against mine, taste deliciously hot skin under my tongue... I feel the heat rise to my cheeks again. This is not the first time, I assure you. It happens every time I get lost in my own little world and fantasize things about you and I. A shiver goes up my spine. What is wrong with me Jin? Why am I thinking of you this way? It scares me.   
  
You'd probably laugh...  
  
Just like you always did when I asked you something stupid. You would always answer me It's just a part of life, Tou'. God I miss your voice. I miss everything about you. I will never tell but it's true, it's there. I walk steadily down a path. I don't know where I'm going, Jin. I just keep walking, never stopping for a minute. If I do, then it will take more time to find you. There I go again, rattling on about things that are really nobody's business. But I can't help it. I could tell about you forever.   
  
Ha, like that will happen...  
  
It's more like I could tell about you for an eternity for that matter. You mean so much to me Jin. Why did you go? Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me with this emotion that burns so brightly in my soul?  
  
Because you did...  
  
You did it without realizing it. You left me with a love so strong, I can feel it steadily ripping me from the inside out. It claws at my heart, feeds off my soul, destroys my mind. I love you so much, it's killing me. The only thing that keeps me going is the images of you in my head that tell me to be strong, to never lose faith. I will. I will be strong for you, my Jin. For you, I'd stay strong the rest of my life.  
  
Do you remember...?  
  
When you used to hug and touch me all the time? You would always say you are remembering me, showing me how much of a friend I am to you. So fifty years from now, you think you will remember me by the way I feel? The way my body snuggles so perfectly against your? Let's hope so... it still bothers me that you did those things out of friendship. It hurts to think that they meant nothing more.  
  
I'm still not sure...  
  
I mean, you held me so gently, handling me as if I were made of ice. Like I was something so precious that if I broke, you would be devastated. But I doubt it. You always tried to protect me, from the darkness, from Reshio and Bakken, from the world itself. But the way you looked at me was different too. It was not the cold hateful eyes that you gave to Reshio or the respectful, brave eyes you gave to Gama. The eyes you gave me were... different. Like they were made for me and only me. I feel the heat rise to my cheeks again. Damn that human thing called blushing. Damn it. I slowly reach up and touch my face. Maybe its not so bad, the warmth is actually comforting. Like the warmth your body gave out as you hugged me close to your chest. Comforting, safe, warm, perfect.   
  
What's this...?  
  
I feel moisture meet my hand. I am crying. It could also be from the small drops of rain that are giving life to this forsaken land. But I know better. I, the master of ice, am crying along with the heavens that bring us rain. I know why too. I will never get to see you again, feel your strong arms wrap around my body keeping me safe. I will never see your special eyes you give me or see that radiant red hair blow in the wind you control. Or your beautiful loving face that warms me to the bone. I wonder if you're happy with your decision. I hope you are. That way, I can draw comfort from your happiness.   
  
What I'd give to see you again...  
  
Only the good lord knows. Perhaps he loves me enough to let me die quickly so this pain welled up inside me will vanish into the world, never to be seen again. I can only hope you are happy Jin. That way, I can die in peace.  
  
  
  
I think I damn near had a heart attack. I'm scared to turn around for fear that what I heard was my sick mind playing tricks on me.  
  
  
  
That sweet, melodious voice. The soft call of an angel. I turn. And there you are Jin. Looking as miserable as that day you decided to eat something you found on the floor. Always the smart one out of the bunch, weren't you?  
  
Tou, is that really you?  
  
Of course it is you dimwit. What about you? Are you really the object of my affection or just an illusion caused from lack of sleep? The rain steadily soaks down your sides; flattening your normally wild hair. I know it's you Jin. You have finally returned to me. I don't know what to do. To laugh or to cry. But before I can do anything, you grab me and pull me into your warm arms, filling my lungs with your forgotten scent.   
  
Oh Touya. I've missed you so much.  
  
I've, you Jin. I think I've died and I'm in heaven. You pull back slightly and look deep into my eyes. I think you saw the pain and suffer because your eyes clouded and you reached up and wiped the tears from my eyes. Your soft hand touches my cheek and caresses it over and over again. I don't know what to do. I slowly feel the pain begin to melt as you embrace me again, your strong arms holding me tight.  
  
I'm so sorry Touya. I've been lookin' for ye for eight long years. Ever since Ah' left...  
  
I look up at you, feeling the tears come back to me. I choke on my words as they threaten to fall loosely from my mouth. I just want you to hold me forever and never let go.  
  
W-why did you leave?  
  
Jin, why did you leave ME? I missed you so much, I could have died. Did you know how much you hurt me? I need to know. I see your eyes, they seem to go away. You sigh and pull me closer. I can feel your heart beat, speeding up as I gently place my hand on your cheek.  
  
Jin, I need to know. I need you to cure the pain...  
  
I take your hand and place it on my chest.  
  
... that is in here, I don't understand...  
  
Jin, you look down at me and give me the eyes that are reserved for me and only me. I can't help but smile causing you to smile to your fullest. I place my head on your chest and feel you heart race. You don't need to tell me where you have been. All that matter is you are here, holding me, protecting me from the pain.  
  
Touya? I-I...  
  
I feel you place your hand on my chin and pull me up to look at you. You look different Jin.   
  
  
  
You wrap your arms around my tiny waist, causing me to blush a deep crimson. You move your face towards mine so we are a breath away.  
  
Ah' love you Touya. Ah' can't be seein' life without ya. It would be... empty. Gods, I missed you...  
  
You close the gap between us, you lips covering mine in an unmistakable kiss. I melt immediately, closing my eyes as your skilled hands fondled with my body, your soft lips tracing along my own. I swear I must be dead. I feel... so loved, so wanted. Jin loved me. And I loved him. It didn't matter if we sat there in the cold rain in the middle of nowhere, we were together. The funny thing was, we spend half a century looking for this blinding light that was supposed to wash over us all giving us a feeling of love, when my light was really standing right next to me the whole time. It was you, Jin. You were my light the whole time. And... I was always yours. Even now, as you pick me up and find us... a more comfortable place to... ahem... rest... yes, I know you will always be mine forever. My heart. My soul. My life. My Jin.   
  
**--Owari--**


End file.
